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Gospel-Morning with Fitzroy Gordon

     Accepting Constructive Criticism

June 3, 2014
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STEPS AFTER DARK W/ KERRY LEE CRAWFORD

In today’s star studded world of the ultra-elite, the egocentric, & mega self-obsessed the practice of providing and accepting constructive criticism has become ever more challenging. As those members of society continue the evolution of defining themselves based on outward perception and not reality offering constructive criticism has become increasingly difficult. The practice of vetting our reality is an integral part of daily living, managing personal accountability & optimizing collective efforts to achieving our goals is how we improve & grow. We do not always agree however it is important that we make attempts to both understand & respect the insights and observations those qualified members in our life may have to share. The term qualified refers to those in our life that garner our regard, they may be true friends, family or professional associates.     More than often when we here of some of the accomplishments of those members of our society who have experienced various levels of success, one of the most common themes is the presence of older wiser mentors who have provided the type of support and insights that have had an intangible benefit. Biblically it is stated that it takes a village to raise a child and that everyone should have a Paul/Saul, a Barnabas, & a Timothy meaning a Mentor, a peer encourager, & a mentored. This dynamic utilizes the wisdom of the more experienced elders while exploring the insights brought from the peer perspective as well as the youthful exuberance of the younger members of the proverbial tribe.        Some topics are more difficult to broach than others hence many co-workers and family members operate within the cultural code, the unspoken rules of engagement the undiscussables.  Some of the topics on the undiscussable list include topics that run the risk of alienating oneself from their peers. Have you ever wondered how that celebrity ended up wearing that awful outfit to that award show or how that world renowned recording artist released that horrendously bad song? In two simple words “Yes Men” people who say yes to everything simply to avoid rocking the ship, more than often yes men end up doing so until the career ship sales into the career iceberg and sinks like a stone.     Many of us either have had too many Yes men on our navigation teams or unwilling to listen to what those navigators have had to say hence it is inevitable that sooner or later we will sail into the figurative iceberg. I get the sneaking suspicion that people such as the L.A. Clippers owner Donald Sterling should have considered more closely some of the earnest insights I’m sure members of his support system provided him, alas he didn’t and a bad situation was made even worse.     Be that as it may our vision is our vision hence sometimes we have to disregard what others may think and venture out on our own and base decisions on our unique vantage. So how does one distinguish or decide between when to accept vs reject the thoughts & insights from those within our support systems, one should consider the following:     
  • How do the thoughts reflect short/long term goals
  • How do the thoughts relate to our own sentiments
  • What is the motive for the provision of the criticism
  • What are the qualifications of those providing the critique
  • Did those providing the critique provide suggested solutionsIf the motive for providing the critique is for the betterment of the individual or entity then the plan should include opportunities to reconvene in order to assess progress. Remember to smile, to be kind, courteous, truthful, & in all things as always use love as it truly is the key to all things worth striving for.
  Have a Love filled & Action Packed Week!      

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