Mark and Jem’s Idiot Ting

Jan 15, 2014 | G-BLOG | 0 comments

Man Sues Toothpaste Company For His Love-Life Problems

A 26-year-old Anthony Olatunfe, is at his wits end, and is suing a toothpaste company he’s used for over 7 years for the cause of his strike-outs with women! – HA!
What’s the problem? Well, Anthony apparently listening to the company’s advertisements, made him believe the toothpaste would help him get women, and it HASN’T!
Anthony was pushed to take a legal step after he brushed his teeth with the Close-Up toothpaste and attempted to kiss his female boss – her reaction was not reciprocal, instead she slapped him in the face! In court, he, also surrendered all his used, unused and half-used Close-Up tubes, demanding that a laboratory test be conducted on the oral hygiene products.
Unilever Nigeria Limited the maker of  ‘Close-Up Toothpaste’, because their commercials made him think the toothpaste would help him get women, and it HASN’T.
“Where is the Close-Up effect? I’ve been waiting for it for over seven years. Right from my college to now in my office, no girl ever agreed to even go out for a tea or coffee with me, even though I’m sure they could smell my breath.”
He went on to say that he had followed the toothpaste company’s instructions down to a tee, “I brushed my teeth morning and night. I did everything they instructed. I even beat up my 5-year-old nephew for coming near my toothpaste, as they had instructed to keep away from children’s reach. And yet, all I get is a slap from my boss.” – Wow….
Reality check buddy: It may not be your breath these girls are rejecting you for!
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